Category: Dream

Attitude

Ruth Kirk

What a difference our attitude makes to how we respond to all God sends. As Saint Paul says: “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:5; NLT).

Last night I dreamed I was very ill. It was clear that I was dying, and that this was beyond my control, and beyond any possibility of medical intervention.

In my dream, I was aware that my attitude to death would make a huge difference to how I experienced it. I could accept what was happening, facing it willingly and putting my trust in God. Alternatively, I could resent it, get angry, and feel bitter, or afraid, even blaming God. However, no matter how I approached it, death was still inevitable.

It was a very vivid dream, and I laid awake for a long time afterwards. Eventually I gave up hoping to go back to sleep, so I sat up in bed with a hot drink, and began to pray. To my surprise, as soon as I had said the Lord’s Prayer, today’s blog began to arrive:

In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:44; NET).

I’m hot. I’m cold.
I’m restless. I can’t sleep.

Into my mind, Lord,
Doubts and questions creep:

Can I face all that’s coming
Without fear?

Yahweh, I know I can’t,
But you are here

To help me bear
Whatever you may send:

My Lord, my God,
My Comforter, and Friend.

Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God (Romans 5:11; NLT).

References

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB). 

The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT). 

He …became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NET).

Look – the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners (Matthew 26:45; NLT).

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Mark 14:36; NLT).

He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever (John 14:16; KJV).

 

Healing dreams

Ruth Kirk

God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in their beds (Job 33:14-15; NLT). 

Forgotten dreams
In prayer one day, I saw that when I can’t remember a dream, I can be sure that it contained nothing I need to know about or deal with at present.

The same is also true when I remember a dream, but no significant theme or emotion stands out. After thanking God for these quiet dreams, I simply let them go. Experience shows that any vague fragments I recall will quickly fade from consciousness.

Recurring dreams
Even if I miss or forget something significant, I’m confident that it will emerge repeatedly in my dreams until I’m ready and able to catch hold of what it has to teach me. This is because the contents of my unconscious mind (memories, traumatic experiences, hidden desires, buried emotions etc), are constantly present, even though I’m not conscious of them. They bubble away beyond awareness, constantly influencing all I feel, think, say and do. They affect how I understand and judge my past, how I react to events in the present, and how I approach the future. They help to determine how I experience life, and how I relate to others.

If I had to face all the contents of my unconscious mind at once, I’m sure I they would overwhelm me. I would become very disturbed, and break down. On the other hand, if I tried to avoid facing them altogether, I would be unable to change, grow and move forward in my life.

Gradual healing through dreams
Given time, I believe that every significant unresolved experience, trauma and emotion buried in my unconscious mind will gradually be revealed in my dreams. This natural process will continue until I have remembered them all, named them, and written them down. This will enable me to face them one at a time, bring them into the light of my prayers, and asking God to heal them. Thus, through dreams, these issues will no longer remain hidden in darkness, until symptoms such as panic, loss of temper, or despair erupt uncontrollably and without warning, apparently from nowhere.

Cause for rejoicing
So when I check my notebook each morning, I rejoice to see what has been harvested from my unconscious mind during the night. Despite no longer remembering the dreams themselves, their major themes have been safely retrieved and made accessible, ready for prayer. This is all I need.

No surprises for God
Of course, there are no surprises for God in all that surfaces; only for me. This is because God already knows the thoughts of my heart and everything about me that is hidden from conscious awareness. With dreams as my way forward, it’s wonderful to know that even my unconscious mind is being healed.

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT).

References 

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

I am the LORD who heals you (Exodus 15:26; NLT).

 

A healing dream

Ruth Kirk

The moment I began to pray before my icon of Mary yesterday morning, I saw the overall theme of the dream from which I had just woken. It was truly astonishing, because during this dream, I had liked my mother.

This may not sound very significant, but it was a first for me. During the dream, I wasn’t afraid of her. I was able to compliment her on her appearance, and give her some direct feedback. It was extraordinary to feel comfortable about being around her.

None of these things ever happened during her lifetime because I was afraid of her. I hated being with her, and loathed her touch and the sound of her voice. I took care to avoid her as far as possible.

Over the years I have had many nightmares about my mother – horrible dreams in which I’ve tried to stand up to her and woken up shouting. However, in last night’s dream I actually enjoyed her company.

In real life, I never loved or trusted my mother, but this dream gave me my first ever glimpse of what a much healthier mother/daughter relationship might feel like. So, I’m going to hold on to the mother I spent time with in my dream: a smart, trim, approachable woman in a fitted, green, woollen suit, wearing red lipstick; a woman who willingly contributed to a community event in an official capacity; chatty, relaxed, and able to accept honest feedback.

As I reflected on my dream, it felt strangely healing, as if a lifetime of emotional suffering and mental illness could somehow be redeemed by a single, brief, positive experience.

I thanked God for giving me this dream about what my mother could have become if her own life had been different, for having dreamed about having a good relationship with her, and especially for the brief, precious experience of liking her.

 

Dream themes

Ruth Kirk

Recently, I’ve been exploring my dreams in a new way – an approach which shows me the unresolved emotional issues hidden away in my unconscious mind.

Following what I learned a few days ago (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dph), the next night I began noting down the overall theme, or essence, of each dream. I did this every time I woke, whilst my memories were still fresh.

By the time I was fully awake next morning, I had a list of all the emotions which had surfaced from my unconscious mind into my dreams that night. For the first time ever, I could consciously connect with them, pray about them, and work with them. 

It’s very early days, but the major themes and emotional states I’ve identified so far are: insecurity, anger, losing my temper, lack of confidence, failure and illness.

Having embarked on this inner journey, I have faith that I’ll keep on learning, although it’s impossible to predict what will be revealed next, which is very exciting.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT). 

 

A revelation

Ruth Kirk

Introduction 

As I woke from a particularly disturbing dream yesterday, God gently reminded me that my dreams often relate to unresolved issues in my life (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dov). Then this insight was taken further, by showing me that dreams offer the possibility of a very special kind of healing: the healing of the unconscious mind. This truth was established long ago by far greater thinkers than me, such as Freud, but yesterday it struck me in an intensely personal way.

The purpose of my dreams 

Dreams make me face and re-experience unresolved issues hidden from awareness in my unconscious mind. Remembering them when I wake enables me to become conscious of what was previously inaccessible. This process re-establishes a connection with everything I have forgotten, suppressed, or repressed during my lifetime. 

Because of my dreams, I can now begin to pray about the contents and conflicts in my unconscious mind, and to ask for healing. It seems extraordinary that I knew nothing about this until it was shown to me yesterday. By paying attention to my dreams, identifying their major themes, and bringing them to God in prayer, I now have an opportunity for all the damage, anger, fear and guilt hidden in my unconscious mind to be healed. 

Recurring dreams

If dreams represent life-events which need healing, it’s easy to see that recurring dreams reveal an insistent need to face repressed issues consciously, to pray about them, and to ask for God’s assistance.

It is therefore perhaps unhelpful to ask for a series of dreams to stop, however unpleasant they are. Rather, I need to ask God to help me face and accept the problematic themes they reveal. Then the related traumatic memories hidden in my unconscious mind can at last begin to emerge for healing.

Getting help

Once I face what is revealed in my dreams, I can pray about it, and, if necessary, ask for help. Ways forward might include discussing the matter with someone I trust, talking to the person concerned (if they are alive), going to confession, or working with a therapist. 

My expectation is that when my disturbing unconscious issues have been resolved, the bad and recurring dreams associated with them will cease. 

Reflection on what I experienced 

Yesterday, as I perceived everything described above, I was in God’s hands, full of awe, though not afraid. For the first time ever I was able to see into my unconscious mind for a short while. It looked like a living, roiling mass of dark grey clouds. Previously, I have only seen its smooth, oily, reflective outer surface – the interface between my conscious and unconscious minds.

My way forward

My dreams bring what is unconscious into consciousness, so I can access, act on, and resolve buried issues during my waking hours. In the light of this, from now on I plan to handle my dreams in a new way:

As soon as I wake, whilst that night’s dreams are still fresh in my mind, I will try to identify and name their themes as honestly and briefly as I can, noting them down.

Then I will thank God for my dreams (including bad dreams and nightmares), and ask God to to help me face, pray about, explore and tackle the memories, experiences, traumas, sins, conflicts or unresolved issues they have revealed.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I thank God for showing me that my dreams can bring the contents of my unconscious mind back into consciousness, so that when I awake, I can deal with the issues they raise. This feels like a very profound opportunity indeed for healing.

Last prayer before sleeping

Lord God,

Thank you for revealing the contents of my unconscious mind through dreams.

Please show me whatever I need to see each night, so I can consciously reconnect with it.

When I wake, please help me to identify and name the theme of each dream, and to thank you for all it reveals.

Please help me to take whatever action is necessary to engage with your healing process.

I am awed that you can do all this, and that you are so determined to heal not just my conscious mind, but my unconscious mind as well. 

I ask this through your dear Son’s name. Amen.

References 

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

O LORD, if you heal me, I will be truly healed (Jeremiah 17:14; NLT).

 

Bad dreams

Ruth Kirk

Introduction
Every night, just before I settle down to sleep, I ask God to help me be a Christian in my dreams, to know Christ’s constant presence there, and even to see his face. I started doing this because for the last six months or so nearly all of my dreams have been vivid, disturbing, distressing and sometimes frightening.

Looking back
I began writing about this issue on the 27th of October 2022. If you would like to look back through this thread, here are some links to a few of the relevant blogs:

27.10.22: Dreams: https://wp.me/p45bCr-cHj

12.11.22: A dream (for E.M.): https://wp.me/p45bCr-cPy

24.11.22: In my dreams: https://wp.me/p45bCr-cVN

6.12.22: In my dreams: https://wp.me/p45bCr-cZ0

9.1.23: Bad dreams:

Starting to understand
Yesterday, at last, I started to understand the purpose of these dreams. Through them I repeatedly face situations, relationships, dilemmas, difficulties and turning-points which are similar in essence to those I have actually experienced during my life. So, as I work through these challenges again and again in my dreams, I have many opportunities to practice dealing with them more effectively.

In the past
In the past, when alarming things happened to me in real life, I simply reacted instinctively, like a cornered animal, unable to think about, or to control, my response.

Depending on the particular circumstances, my behavioural repertoire included getting upset, losing my temper, panicking, running away, anxious avoidance, being filled with dread, and saying nothing to the person concerned.

Sadly, none of these makes for a happy, healthy emotional life. Indeed, they create further issues by exacerbating and perpetuating existing problems. I can say this with complete confidence because I’ve spent my life wrestling with such issues, and struggling to overcome them.

New learning
However, to my delight, I’m now beginning to gain some significant insight into my bad dreams:

Firstly, they help me to connect my psychological issues with the serious damage done to my conscious and unconscious mental development by my mother’s emotional abuse.

Secondly, now aged 70, I observe that at last I’m beginning to react differently to challenging events in my dreams. This suggests that the assertiveness skills and emotional stability I have consciously worked so hard to acquire and develop as an adult are now slowly being integrated into my unconscious mind as well. I attribute this change to the prayer I say each night before sleeping, and thank God for this very significant form of gradual healing – the healing of my bad dreams.

One major theme
One theme that really stands out for me is the difference it makes when I speak out openly, directly and honestly in my dreams, rather than feeling helpless, powerless, silenced, weak and afraid.

It’s easy to see that the pattern of fear, silence and avoidance, unconsciously developed for the sake of self-preservation during my childhood, has been the underlying cause of my long history of anxiety, depression, panic attacks and phobias, especially the agoraphobia and claustrophobia which have characterised and dominated my life.

Understanding this makes me realise, yet again, that God really does bring good from everything, even, in my case, the mental suffering and ingrained defence mechanisms which result from having a narcissistic, controlling and emotionally abusive mother.

Conclusion
My guess is that as I become able to deal more skilfully with the difficult situations arising in my dreams, the bad ones will gradually cease. However, even if they continue, their fear factor will be greatly reduced by my responses to them being very different. So yesterday I added a new line to my final prayer of the day:

Lord, please let me know your presence in my dreams. Whatever I experience in my sleep, may I face it with you, and deal with it as a Christian, speaking the truth in love directly, openly, confidently, and honestly. I ask this through your own dear name. Amen.

STOP PRESS: Last night I had a potentially very distressing dream about being lost in London, exhausted and unable to walk. This is a standard agoraphobic/chronic illness nightmare for me. To my amazement, on waking, I remembered how I was able to ask for help from a stranger, and that although I was fully aware of my situation, I wasn’t afraid. Isn’t that truly amazing?

References

God gave Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams (Daniel 1:17; NLT).

God can tell you what it means and set you at ease (Genesis 41:16; NLT).

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Luke 11:9; NLT).

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NKJV).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

Bad dreams

Ruth Kirk

Although I don’t feel anxious about my deteriorating health in the daytime, I have bad dreams about it almost every night. A few days ago I woke feeling particularly upset and disturbed by what I had experienced in my dream, and especially by how I’d felt, both physically and mentally.

My training and experience suggest that these dreams are telling me what’s going on in my unconscious mind, and that it might be helpful to talk them over. As I prayed about this, today’s verses came to mind. They arrived so quickly that it was all I could do to scribble them down. Later I was able to spend time reflecting on them, and editing them.

I’m getting old, and sick, Lord,
Let’s face facts –
I’m never going to do again
Some of the things I love.
I’m never going to do
What I’ve not done.

I’m running out of health,
And out of time.
I’m fine with this
When I’m awake,
But dream about it
Almost every night.

And that’s when I experience
My grief,
My weakness, tiredness,
Helplessness and fear;
Depression; getting lost;
Dementia; tears.

Day after day I wake up 
In distress.
Today, I recognised
That maybe I need help:
Lord God, I want to talk
About my dreams.

God gave Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams (Daniel 1:17; NLT). 

God can tell you what it means and set you at ease (Genesis 41:16; NLT).

In my dreams

Ruth Kirk

I wrote this prayer last weekend, with a migraine that still hasn’t responded to any of my usual medications. All I can do is to be very quiet, whilst waiting patiently for it to improve in God’s good time.

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Luke 11:9; NLT). 

Jesus,
May I seek you
In my dreams;
Find you, Lord, and meet you
In my dreams;
Walk and talk beside you
In my dreams,
Facing all  with you, Lord,
In my dreams.

Jesus,
May I see you
In my dreams;
Recognise and know you
In my dreams;
Bear my cross, and follow
In my dreams,
And never fear tomorrow,
In my dreams.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NKJV).

 

In my dreams

Ruth Kirk

In dreams, I very rarely say or do anything overtly Christian, which seems both surprising and sad.

Yesterday morning I woke from a complicated, stressful dream, longing to pray. However, even before I could begin, this blog started to arrive. I tried hard to ignore it, which was impossible. It quickly became so loud and insistent that I had to give in, and write it down, like this:

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
To turn to you, and pray, Lord,
In my dreams;
To ask for your forgiveness
In my dreams,
Love others, Lord, and serve you –
In my dreams. 

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
So I can praise and thank you
In my dreams;
To revel in your presence
In my dreams,
And welcome all that happens –
In my dreams.

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
Then I will see your face, Lord,
In my dreams.
I’ll worship without ceasing
In my dreams,
And live in heaven on earth, Lord –
In my dreams.

 

Three precious words

Ruth Kirk

Today’s blog describes what happened after I posted, “Thank you, Jesus” (https://wp.me/p45bCr-cP2).

Just before settling down to sleep that night I attached my night-cross to my wrist, as always. Then I asked God to be with me in my dreams (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-cHj). I started doing this recently because of a spate of nightmares, probably due to a new medication I was taking. Finally, I switched off the light and went to sleep.

A dream
I dreamed I was in a small, wooden boat, being rowed down a flooded street. Initially, the water was calm.

Then water began to pulse into the street, each wave higher and rougher than the one before, until the water became a rolling, boiling chaos.

Again and again, tons of water towered above me as the boat was tossed around. Soon waves began to break over me, swamping the boat. I was terrified, and started to scream repeatedly.

A dream within a dream
Then, still within the dream, I slowly woke, still screaming, gasping for air. I was in bed in my old, ugly, uncomfortable room at my mother’s house. I was young, but not a child – perhaps a late teenager, or in my early twenties. There was nowhere I would less rather be.

Slowly, slowly, my screams diminished, and I stopped gasping for breath. Eventually my mother appeared in her dressing-gown. I had clearly woken her up, which was never a good thing. I remember feeling that she was very the last person I wanted to see, as she had nothing but scorn for those who were afraid, including me. She was incapable of offering me any comfort, understanding, or sympathy. Indeed, I feared her more than anyone else I had ever known. Finding myself in her house, undressed and in bed, with her in my room, was worse than being in the boat. I felt so vulnerable.

Waking up
Then I began to wake, gradually realising it had all been a dream. However, I couldn’t stop re-living the terrifying sight of the waves towering above me, or the sensation of them falling on to me, filling the boat. It was just like having flashbacks from my childhood, which happened to me so often, and for so many years, that I had no idea they weren’t normal.

Slowly, slowly, I surfaced more fully, until I reached a point where I was able to whisper, “Thank you, Jesus”, whilst holding my night-cross firmly in my hand, where it had remained all night.

Instantly, I stopped re-living the terrifying sights and sensations of my dream. My inner storm had been stilled by those three, precious words.

Then I reached for my iPad to write this blog, feeling awed by what had happened. I was no longer disturbed or afraid, though my body felt as if it were vibrating for a while afterwards. The whole experience left me with a lot to reflect on.

I am with you always, to the very end of the age (Matthew 28:20; NIV).

References

You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me (Jonah 2:3; NIV).

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NIV).

He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed (Psalm 107:29; NIV).

He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him (Luke 17:16; NIV).

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).

Reading: Mark 4:35-41; RSV

When evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.

And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?”

And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?”

And they were filled with awe, and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?”