When someone hurts me

Let every one speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin (Ephesians 4:25; RSV).

Hello, everyone. Have you even been badly hurt by how someone has behaved towards you at church? An experience like that can destroy our faith, if we don’t know how to deal with it. This issue puzzled me for many years. I was terrified of the consequences of speaking out, yet if I said nothing, disillusionment, anxiety and depression would wipe out my faith as if it had never existed.
So, one of the main things I’ve been learning over recent years is how to deal with, and resolve, conflict. This is the subject of today’s blog.

When someone hurts me

No one is perfect, except God alone. So when non-Christians hurt me, I’m really not surprised.

But when fellow-Christians hurt me, I am shocked and disturbed. So what should I do when this happens?

Well, Jesus taught: “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone”  (Matthew 18:15; NRSV).

But I can’t possibly do that! It’s too difficult and risky; too frightening. I feel anxious even just thinking about it.

Maybe I need to pray …


Please give me confidence to approach those who hurt me, talking to them honestly, and lovingly, in private.

Help me to repair each damaged relationship, never leaving my hurt to harden into resentment, dislike, or fear.

Comfort me after dealing with each conflict, when I worry endlessly about what I said,
and whether I should really have said nothing at all.

Help me to forgive, and to pray for, those who hurt me, remembering that no one is perfect,
except you alone.

I ask all this in Jesus’ holy name,

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