Category: seek

21.3.23: In silence

Ruth Kirk
Jozef Israëls – Mijmering (meditation) of ook Ophelia – DM-975-508 – Dordrechts Museum.jpg

Yesterday morning, as I began to pray without words after saying the Lord’s Prayer, today’s blog arrived. I didn’t try to resist, or make it wait, or push it away, though I wanted so much to continue listening, and go deeper:

The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words (Romans 8:26; RSV). 

In silence, Lord, I listen
To your Spirit’s prayers
Within me.

In stillness, Lord, I sense you
In my body, heart,
And mind.

Though I’m alone,
I share your sighs,
Your wordless intercessions.

In my darkness, Lord,
Please give me sight,
For I am blind.

In my darkness you are all –
I seek you, Lord,
And find.

Seek and you will find (Luke 11:9; NIV).

References 

The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP). 

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT). 

Pray in the Holy Spirit (Jude 1:20; RSV). 

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18; NLT). 

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy (Isaiah 35:5-6; NIV). 

8.2.23: Wordless prayer

Ruth Kirk

After writing about the meaning of dreams (https://wp.me/p45bCr-dph), I took a day off yesterday, so here is a prayer I received some time ago:

I earnestly seek for God (Isaiah 26:9; NLT).

I seek you, Lord,
In wordless prayer,
And listen
For your silent voice.

I badly need
Your light and peace.
I long to see you,
And rejoice.

I find you, Lord,
In wordless prayer.
You greet me
With your loving kiss.

You speak to me
So quietly,
Then draw me
Into silent bliss.

Be silent before the Lord (Zechariah 2:13; NLT).

19.1.23: My reason for living

Ruth Kirk

Although this little prayer began to arrive early one morning, I didn’t finish it until almost midnight on the same day. As I wrestled with it, I felt in my bones that it wasn’t going to work. However, I didn’t give up on the original inspiration, and eventually today’s blog emerged. I wonder why the simplest prayers are so often the very hardest to write?

I searched everywhere, determined to find wisdom and to understand the reason for things (Ecclesiastes 7:25; NLT).  

You are my reason for living:
Lord, may I seek you each day.

You are my reason for loving:
Lord, may I worship, and pray.

You are my reason for giving:
Lord, may I serve you in all.

You are my reason for dying:
Lord, I’ll rejoice when you call.

Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me. Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came! (John 12:26-7; NLT).

If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV).

The Rosary Hospital

Today I had a second try at making a simple prayer circlet, but this time I used nine beads in each section, whilst marking the beginning and end of each group with small crosses.

There are no static beads in this circlet, apart from at the join. It’s much slacker than a normal rosary. This should make it easier to pray with whilst walking, or carrying out simple tasks. Only one hand is needed to hold the circlet and move the beads along. I’m right-handed, so I can easily pray with it in my left hand. Having just finished my circlet this evening, I’m really looking forward to  trying it out tomorrow.

Here are two shots of today’s circlet. The first is atmospheric, taken in my bedroom late at night, while the second shows more detail:


6.12.22: In my dreams

Ruth Kirk

Context: I wrote this prayer last weekend, with a migraine that still hasn’t responded to any of my usual medications. All I can do is to be very quiet, whilst waiting patiently for it to improve in God’s good time.

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Luke 11:9; NLT). 

Jesus,
May I seek you
In my dreams;
Find you, Lord, and meet you
In my dreams;
Walk and talk beside you
In my dreams,
Facing all  with you, Lord,
In my dreams.

Jesus,
May I see you
In my dreams;
Recognise and know you
In my dreams;
Bear my cross, and follow
In my dreams,
And never fear tomorrow,
In my dreams.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NKJV).

2.12.22: Paradox

Ruth Kirk

Context: Slowly, slowly we are recovering from Covid. Yesterday I was able to walk into town with my rollator, which took me about five minutes. It was amazing to chat briefly with people, and even share a hug with my friend, Ruth.

Here is today’s prayer:

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1; NIV).

I long for you
And thirst, pursue
Your righteousness
In all I do,
Even though I live in you,
My God.

I love you deeply,
Desperately,
And search for you
Unceasingly,
Even though you live in me,
My God.

We know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them (1 John 4:16; NIV).

Rosary-making news:

There is a postal strike in the UK, so still no rosary centrepieces have arrived. I was desperate to have the pleasure of making a rosary today, so I made a standard one, but without a centrepiece, just to prove to myself that I could still remember how to do it! This is what I made:

23.11.22: Covid

Ruth Kirk

Context: I have very long experience of living with chronic illness and fatigue, but it’s interesting to observe how wearing it is to have Covid on top of this. Although I tested negative for the first time last Sunday, my symptoms continue, and the virus certainly isn’t giving up its grip yet.

I’m vividly aware that all around the world hundreds of thousands have died of their infection, whilst countless others are suffering, or have been left disabled. My only coping technique is to say, “Yes”, to God at every moment, and to keep on whispering, “Thank you, Jesus.”

It’s impossible to predict the outcome of this illness for each individual, including me, so all I can do is to put my trust God, who brings good from everything, no matter what happens:

I love you, LORD; you are my strength (Psalm 18:1; NLT). 

I love you
As I wake again
To yet another
Day of pain.
Don’t leave me here
To live in vain,
I pray.

I love you,
And I seek your face.
I long to know
Your warm embrace,
Receive your kiss,
And share your grace –
One day.

I love you,
And I choose your will,
With thanks
For every good and ill.
Lord, help me, please,
For you are still
My Way.

Jesus told him, “I am the way” (John 14:6; NLT).

References 

Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless (Philippians 2:16; NLT). 

The LORD will work out his plans for my life – for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me (Psalm 138:8; NLT).

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek (Psalm 27:8; NIV). 

May God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior give you grace and peace (Titus 1:4; NLT). 

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16; NIV). 

All of you share in God’s grace with me (Philippians 1:7; NIV). 

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT). 

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT). 

When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn (Psalm 142:3; NLT). 

Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left (Isaiah 30:21; NLT). 

16.11.22: I believe in Jesus

Ruth Kirk

Context: Both my husband and I have covid, so I’m not able to write at present. However, here is a prayer which arrived a short time ago. I chose it because it seemed to follow on from yesterday’s (https://wp.me/p45bCr-cKC):

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying” (John 11:25; NLT).

I believe in Jesus,
For he is all I need:
He heals my mind,
Forgives my sins,
And hears me when I plead.

I believe in Jesus,
For he is all I seek:
He heals my heart,
Redeems my life,
And helps me when I’m weak.

I believe in Jesus,
For he alone can save:
He heals my soul,
And cares for me –
His humble, willing slave.

Whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else (Mark 10:44; NLT).

Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:4o; CSB). 

1.11.22: Heal all living souls

Ruth Kirk

Context: Today’s and tomorrow’s prayers form a linked pair:

Now he will heal us (Hosea 6:1; NLT). 

Lord,

Heal all living souls,
I pray,

And guide us
To your narrow way.

Teach and strengthen us
Each day,

Until all seek your face,
And say: I love you.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek (Psalm 27; 8; NIV). 

I love you, LORD; you are my strength (Psalm 18:1;NLT).

The rosary-making project

Most of the materials I need to make rosaries arrived yesterday, to my delight. The main piece of kit I don’t have yet is the special rosary tool, which is coming all the way from America.

In the evening I enjoyed making a practice chaplet representing one decade, as seen above. I really need to sit by an expert to learn this craft, especially as my brain can’t distinguish between left and right for making the knots.

However, I managed to add some beads to a little cross on a cord, which I bought from a lovely lady in the UK. My addition is very simple indeed, but I’m still very pleased with the result!


18.9.22: The healing process

Ruth Kirk


Context: Yesterday I woke very early, and saw that God lives in my unconscious mind, waiting and longing to heal me.

Healing is a lifelong process. It means slowly becoming conscious of all that is hidden in the darkness of my unconscious mind, so I can change and grow.

I can encourage this process by:

  • Seeking God
  • Waiting on God 
  • Praying constantly 
  • Listening to God
  • Learning from God
  • Practicing God’s presence

Slowly, slowly, God reveals to me all the damage that lives on in my inner darkness, bringing it into the light of consciousness, so it can be healed. This includes the psychological consequences of the trauma, bullying, coercive control and abuse I suffered throughout my childhood, and far beyond.

I can share in this process by:

  • Opening myself to all God uncovers and reveals to me
  • Facing what I am shown
  • Accepting it
  • Cooperating with God’s healing
  • Learning from from what God tells me
  • Working to change how I feel, think, speak and behave

As God helps me to change and grow, I become more whole as a person, and therefore just a tiny bit more like Christ.

There is no deeper or more complete healing than God’s inner healing.

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

References 

Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes (Ephesians 4:23; NLT). 

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5; NIV).

I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you (Ezekiel 36:26; NLT). 

He renews my strength (Psalm 23:3; NLT). 

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:17; NLT). 

This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

We will be like him (1 John 3:2; NLT). 

16.9.22: Light and darkness (with thanks to KB)

Ruth Kirk

Context: This blog arrived yesterday morning, whilst I was exchanging messages with a friend. It simply formed in my mind as I began to respond. By the time I had put it into words, I realised I needed to hold on to what I had written, so I copied and pasted it into my spiritual diary. Here is the result:

You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light (2 Samuel 22:29; NLT).

Lord, you are light, and you live in the darkness of my unconscious mind (see reference #1).

Constantly present there, you move mysteriously in the depths, patiently revealing, insight by insight, all that is hidden within me, especially all that needs healing (2).

As long as I keep on searching, waiting, looking, listening, learning, changing and growing, you keep on revealing more and more, slowly bringing everything about me into the light (3). 

Through this life-long process, you are healing all the physical, mental and emotional damage caused by my abusive childhood (4).

Thank you so much for everything you show me, Lord, for all your love, help, and healing.

I offer this prayer through your dear Son’s name.

Amen.

References

1. God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

Clouds and thick darkness surround him (Psalm 97:2; NIV).

He shrouded himself in darkness (2 Samuel 22:12; NLT). 

2. We are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

You cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things (Ecclesiastes 11:5; NLT). 

He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT). 

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness (Daniel 2:22; NLT).

3. Moses approached the thick darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; NLT).

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened (Luke 11:9-10; NLT). 

4. I am the Lord who heals you (Exodus 15:26; NLT).

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).